Carlie: Hey there it’s Carlie with the Expat Focus podcast.
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Today’s guest Sarah is an American in Paris, who offers tips and tricks to help fellow expats navigate all aspects of French life and culture through her blog and social media accounts, abuckeyeinparis.Sarah’s also a new mum, so we’re doing a deep-dive into having a baby in France. And you’ll hear her adorable daughter Laura through this episode.
Sarah, it’s a real novelty to have a guest in the same time zone and country as myself. So welcome to the Expat Focus podcast. I’m in Strasbourg. You’re joining me from the outskirts of Paris this morning.
Sarah: Yes, thank you for having me.
Carlie: And we have a second guest, just off camera. And that is your baby girl, Laura?
Sarah: Yes, it is.
Carlie: Yes, which is very appropriate because the topic of this episode is of course, having a baby in France, and you are still a relatively new mom. How old is Laura now?
Sarah: Laura is three and a half months. Oh, so new. Yeah. Still a teeny tiny little bean of a baby.
Carlie: Well, I’m really excited to get into all of the details as much as you’re happy to share, of course, of the process of being pregnant in France and having your baby in the country. For the benefit of our listeners, but first of all, can we start with what brought you to France originally and how did you end up living here?
Sarah: So the first time I came to France was through my French language class in high school. We were here in France for two weeks during the summer of my freshman and sophomore year. And I just loved it. I had kind of fallen in love in language class with Paris and the idea of France, and that love stayed through high school, until my senior year where, at the end of my sophomore year, I had decided to go through an exchange program.
My senior year of high school, I spent a year abroad here in France, actually not too far from where I live now, through the Rotary International Program.
Through that, I had made some friends because I was in a lycée, and several years later, one of my friends invited me to her wedding and I ended up meeting my now husband. We ended up getting married, obviously. He’s French and I figured it was probably better if I moved to Paris to be with him because he didn’t want to stay in the States or live in the States. He wanted to stay in France. So, long story short, I ended up marrying a Frenchman and that’s what brought me to Paris.
Carlie: It sounds like a bit of a cliché story for a lot of people, but it’s also quite cute.
Sarah: It is. It is. Like we, I could go into detail about how we met, like on a dance floor at a wedding, and you know, it was one of those things where we didn’t really expect to meet each other at that time. It just kind of happened, so yeah, but that’s a story for another day.
Carlie: And I think the story of how you got yourself to France, especially, I believe it was just around pandemic time, could also be the topic of an entirely other episode.
Sarah: Absolutely. I literally arrived like a week and a half before the first lockdown, and it was just one of those things where before I left, I was debating with my mother about should I go? Should I not go? Because, you know, things were coming out of China about how sick everybody was, and Mom’s like, “Just go. If you don’t, you’ll probably never get over there.” So I just hopped on a plane and decided to come over. I ended up getting COVID at the time, not realizing it was COVID. Thankfully it wasn’t too bad, so, yeah.
Carlie: Sarah, pregnancy to me as someone without kids feels like it would be a daunting experience in my home country, let alone in a foreign country. I want to start with: What do you need to do in France when you think you might be pregnant?
Sarah: Well, the first thing that you’re going to want to do, obviously, is take a pregnancy test on a stick. You can go into any pharmacy here and buy one. The most common in the United States is Clear Blue, which they have here.
So, you’re going to want to pee on a stick and then you’ll either get an appointment with your GP or you could see a midwife or an OB-GYN. In my case, my GP is also an OB-GYN, so I ended up booking an appointment with her. One of the first questions she asked me was, “Have you peed on a stick?” So I said, “Yes. I brought my stick with me.” And I was like, “Here you go.” She was like, “Thank you, but you know, you can keep that.” And then after that, it’s a whole slew of appointments and tests.
Carlie: And do they double confirm you’re pregnant? Like do they do a blood test just to be sure?
Sarah: What happened was, because I turned 40 this last year, I was paranoid. You know, in the States it’s considered a geriatric pregnancy.
Carlie: Oh, that old chestnut.
Sarah: Yeah, I know, it’s like an old people pregnancy. So I was a bit paranoid as far as, you know, can we make sure everything’s okay? And they immediately gave me a blood test to confirm that I was pregnant. And because I had tested so early on, they wanted to make sure that my levels were constantly going up, were multiplying.
So I ended up for the first week and a half having to do a blood test every three days because the beta HCG multiplies every 48 hours, I think. Don’t quote me on that, but I know it’s every couple days. And so they wanted to make sure that the levels were going up to make sure that things were going in the right direction, if you will.
Carlie: That’s really intense. A blood test every few days.
Sarah: They did that this time because I actually had had a miscarriage prior. And so my doctor just wanted to make sure that, from the beginning, everything was fine. And since that was a worry of mine as well, I wanted to also make sure that we were going in the right direction.
Carlie: And if you don’t mind me asking, did you miscarry in France?
Sarah: Yes, I did. Yeah. So I ended up miscarrying a year and a couple months before I found out I was pregnant with Laura. And so that was a whole process. Since it was my first time, I sort of knew what I was expecting, but not really. It was definitely a drawn-out process, and I had some complications, but in the end everything turned out fine.
Carlie: And when it comes to going to the doctor confirming your pregnancy, starting with an OB-GYN, which I assume the same person would follow you for the entire pregnancy, do you have much choice in France about the doctor you choose, or is it sort of who applies to your local residential area?
Sarah: I live outside in the suburbs and I was actually still seeing my doctor in Paris itself. In my doctor’s office, they have midwives, because here you can actually see a midwife for all of your appointments and such, up until the point where at some point throughout your pregnancy, you’ll start going to the hospital or the maternity ward where you’ll be having your child, and then the hospital will take over. The team there will start seeing you.
But I ended up seeing a midwife instead of my doctor, and that was my choice because I wanted a midwife. I ended up actually following her because she’s within my doctor’s office. They’re a group and so they have a couple different locations throughout Paris. So I ended up following her at her different locations because I really enjoyed her and we clicked and it was someone that I felt confident with.
Carlie: Being in an older pregnancy, a geriatric pregnancy, as they say. Were you interested in or did you get genetic tests and the sort of tests they do to make sure there’s nothing wrong with the baby and to determine if you want to continue the pregnancy?
Sarah: So the only testing that we did in the genetic sense was the OMI-21 for Down Syndrome. I had discussed with my midwife to see if there was any other testing that we needed, and she didn’t recommend any, so I didn’t feel it was necessary that we had to do any other type of testing. The testing for the OMI is all elective.
So we didn’t have to take it if we didn’t want to, but that was something that I wanted to take, because I wanted to know. If there was something, I wanted to be prepared when my child came into this world, to know how to serve them and how to meet their needs and not be surprised at birth.
Carlie: And is it the same as in America or Australia where it’s sort of like the three-month mark? Everything’s okay. And then are you into a certain rhythm of checkups after maybe a month? Or is it more frequently than that?
Sarah: My midwife was like, “You know, you can start telling people it’s totally up to you. If you want to tell people earlier than 12 weeks, you can.” We actually decided to wait a lot longer because during that miscarriage, I actually miscarried a little later in the first trimester, and I just wanted to make sure that everything was fine and we were good and there were no problems.
In France, there’s a total of seven prenatal exams that you take and it’s basically one checkup a month, and then on top of that you have your three ultrasounds for the first trimester, second trimester, and then third trimester. I actually had a couple more exams during that first couple weeks of the first trimester, just with my past history of having a miscarriage.
My midwife wanted to make sure that I was being followed a lot more closely just to be able to react a lot more quickly. Because with the miscarriage we kind of waited a little bit longer just to see what would happen and how things would go, and she didn’t want to have to do that again.
Carlie: Yeah, it makes sense to be cautious. Sarah, do parenting and childbirth classes exist in France?
Sarah: Yes, they do. You can take them either through the hospital that you’re going to be at, or you can take them through a midwife. I ended up taking them through a midwife, not the one that I had been seeing, because she wouldn’t be able to come to my house for the first appointment that’s eight days after you give birth. I ended up finding a midwife in the neighboring town, and it was with her that I took the classes and then she ended up coming for the eight-day exam at our house.
Carlie: And are any of these classes compulsory for new parents or is it totally up to you if you decide to do that?
Sarah: It’s up to you. It is 100% covered by social security here, the national health insurance, but for new parents and people who maybe are a little hesitant, I’d definitely take them. I am lucky where my mom’s a nurse and her best friend’s a midwife. So, and I had done a crap ton of research beforehand as far as having a kid and what to expect. Oh goodness. So I’m going to adjust her really quickly.
Carlie: Oh goodness. Baby Laura has joined us for this episode. Yes. So I hope you’re enjoying her dulcet tones and it’s very appropriate to the topic.
Sarah: I don’t mind.
Carlie: No, she can’t figure out if she wants to eat. She wants to be a part of the conversation. She has missed her first nap of the day, but that’s a whole other story too. She’s possibly teething. I mean, there’s a lot going on in this tiny little human.
Carlie: So I think I would definitely take those classes, just personally.
Sarah: And I would say, having talked with some friends who have had kids here who are expats as well, I guess I kind of expected a little bit more as far as information is concerned, but I feel like for the general basis of everything, I think they did a pretty good job covering the basics, if you will.
Carlie: You spoke about the French national health insurance covering classes, prenatal classes, parenting classes, childbirth. What about all of those appointments? How much did it cost you to get your monthly checkups and your blood tests?
Sarah: It was probably but a couple euros. As far as a normal doctor’s appointment goes, everything I would have to pay for up until the sixth month of being pregnant. And then from then on, everything is 100% covered. With my top-up insurance, I actually ended up not paying anything. So it was all covered in a sense for me.
If I had to pay something out of pocket, it was maybe 10 euros a visit, if that. Nothing too remarkable. For the total of it, for the doctor’s visits and whatnot, maybe 50 euros. I’d have to go back and double check my bank statements.
Carlie: But it wasn’t remarkable. It wasn’t remarkable enough to leave an impression. And to put this into context, you are a foreigner in France, but you recently became a French citizen. Congratulations.
Sarah: Thank you.
Carlie: You do work full-time, so you have the national health insurance plus the private insurance through your employer. Would I be assuming all of that correctly?
Sarah: Yes, that is correct.
Carlie: When it comes time to go to the hospital to have your baby, do you have the choice like you do in Australia between going to a public hospital or a private hospital if you have the right level of health insurance or is it a bit different in France?
Sarah: No, you have the choice of wherever you want to go. Since we have the hospital of Saint-Cloud here that is 10 minutes to our one side and we have the hospital of Foch which is 10 minutes the other way, I ended up getting an appointment at both to get information from them. If you want to choose a public hospital, you are more than welcome to.
If you want to choose a private hospital and you are able to go for that, there’s no sort of “you have to go here or there.” It’s completely your preference. If I wanted to go to the American hospital in Neuilly, I could have done that too, but since I lived between two hospitals, I figured that was probably easier, especially since we don’t have a car. So that was a huge factor for us.
Carlie: It possibly wasn’t part of your birth plan, but I’m curious. One, did you have a birth plan? And two, does France welcome the idea of, say, having a home birth?
Sarah: No, I did not have a birth plan.
Carlie: The baby has left the chat. I think she has a dirty diaper. That’s one thing we probably don’t want to put in our YouTube chat.
Sarah: No, I mean, no. Birth plan. So I thought about having a birth plan and I know that I had looked into it, I had researched it. I had asked about it at my appointment when I went to my first hospital appointment, and they said, “You know, we’ll talk about that later.” We never ended up talking about it, and I know sometimes with birthing it can go any which way.
So my husband and I had just talked about a few things as far as, “Here’s what I want to make sure that you are aware of. If this happens, I want this to happen.” Since he was going to be there with me through the whole process and I was like, “You know, if I ended up becoming unconscious, here’s my wishes. I would like this to happen.” None of that happened, which was fantastic.
I felt I didn’t really need a birth plan. I just knew however it would happen, it would happen. And just as long as at the end of the day, we were both healthy. That was my plan.
Carlie: And this is coming from a very ignorant person who’s never had a baby. Do you need to tell the hospital in advance of when you are due and like ring a certain department to tell them you’re going to come in and they tell you to wait at home a bit longer? Like is it what you see in the movies?
Sarah: Yes and no. I got lucky and my water didn’t fully break, I just started leaking. So I ended up going to the ER and they were like, “Yes, you are slowly losing fluid, so we’re going to admit you and we’ll see how that goes.” But they give you every avenue. So if you are home and you start having contractions, you learn in your birth class, and this was gone over, at least for me, at the hospital, their policy is, “You’re supposed to start timing them. And once you get to a certain point where you’re having contractions so many minutes apart, that’s when you’re supposed to come to the hospital.”
But the one thing that they kind of hammered home or reiterated a lot was, “You know, if you ever feel like there is something wrong or you’re unsure, you can either call,” and there was a specific dedicated number for that, “or you could just show up.” So in my case, we ended up just showing up and that was, I think, the best move for me and for Laura.
Carlie: And were you in a maternity ward with other women waiting to give birth or were you in your own room?
Sarah: So when I showed up at the Hospital Foch, they have a specific emergency department for obstetrics. So I went there and I was already kind of in the maternity ward, if you will. And I was with other women who were pregnant. I ended up going in two days before I had Laura on the third day. And the first night, I was in a shared room with another woman who had actually been there for three days already, and she, poor thing, looked like she was about to burst.
We were kind of joking back and forth that we both had the impression that everybody in the area decided to have the baby at the same time, because she was waiting for her own room to go back to, and it just seemed like they were waiting for birthing rooms to open up.
Because that was something that, at least at Foch, where we were at—and I don’t know if this goes for the whole hospital—but the room that I was staying in was not the room that I gave birth in. Because I know there are some hospitals where the room that you’re admitted to, that’s where you’re going to have the baby and that’s where everything happens and you stay in that room.
I actually at one point had decided that things weren’t moving along. And so we decided to do an induction. And at that point I had gone to a specific birthing room and a delivery room, and that’s where I had the induction. And then they’re like, “Okay, you know, go on, go have dinner, come back like in an hour and a half and we’ll get started.”
Carlie: Could you even eat? I’d be like…
Sarah: Yeah, I was! The thing is, my first trimester I was classic, really tired. I was nauseous 24/7. I had like no energy and no desire to eat. But then by the third trimester, I just was eating everything in sight, everything that I was allowed to eat. You know, I couldn’t obviously have the lovely cheese and the charcuterie, unpasteurized cheese that I was dying for.
Carlie: Raw fish.
Sarah: Yeah, I know, right? Sushi, gotta leave that. But I was eating quite significantly, and quite frequently too. And they were like, “No, go have food, eat something.” Because by the time I went back into the delivery room, they were like, “Okay, we’re hooking you up to the epidural. And then it’s however long to get dilated to 10 centimeters and then however long it takes to have a baby.”
So that could be a few hours or it could be like a day or so, I had no idea how this was going to go down, basically. So I was like, “You know what, I’m going to have a really big burger, no cheese, and very well cooked, and lots of French fries.” It was hospital food, so it was not the best, but it got the job done.
Carlie: And after you gave birth, I should ask, was your birth eventful or was it textbook?
Sarah: It was pretty uneventful. I was not expecting, you know, you hear stories about women laboring for like hours and hours and hours, and you see these people screaming and that was not how it went down for me. They gave me the epidural at 9:00 PM at night and I literally slept off and on till probably about 6:00 AM the next day, just waiting to come to 10 centimeters dilated. I had a midwife checking on me every couple hours to see how things were going.
And then at one point they were like, “Okay, you’re fully dilated. We’re ready to go.” The midwife and there was another nurse were getting everything ready and it was just the two of them actually. The midwife had explained that she’s going to start everything off and then if after 30 minutes of pushing nothing happens, then she’ll go get the doctor.
Well, that’s what happened. I pushed for 30 minutes, you know, as contractions were coming, and Laura just was not descending. Like she was not moving down. And so at that point the midwife was like, “Hey, I’m going to go call the doctor and I’m going to have them come in and assess the situation.”
I think I got lucky, but it was shift change. So I had two teams of doctors all descending. You know, at one point it was like the first doctor showed up and then two or three more people showed up. And then I think at one point there was probably about 12 or so people in the delivery room with me.
Carlie: It was a birthing party.
Sarah: It was a birthing party. But at the same time, I felt very confident and comfortable and actually reassured about having that many heads. You know, sometimes they say there’s too many chefs in the kitchen. I think for something like this, there couldn’t be enough. Both teams actually, the night team and the day team, since I was in between, they both decided that we are not going to try any instruments that would normally help to naturally give birth. We’re just going to go straight to doing a C-section.
So I ended up having what they called an emergency C-section, because that was not planned at all. And after probably five, maybe seven minutes of discussion it was, “Okay, let’s go.” And I was zoomed out the door on the way to the operating room.
Carlie: Oh my gosh.
Sarah: It was a lot, but also at the same time I had full confidence and I never at one point felt like there was an issue. I could sense there was a little urgency going on in how the doctors were talking. And I think because of my mom being a nurse and her best friend being a midwife, I knew what things to kind of pick up on.
Carlie: In terms of the tone.
Sarah: In terms of the tone and how they were discussing certain things. And they at one point were like, “Are you okay with a C-section?” And I was just, “Well, I mean, if that’s the only way that she’s going to come out, then yeah, I mean, I’m absolutely okay with that because I just want for the both of us to be healthy and have no issues.”
Carlie: And were you awake through the C-section?
Sarah: Yes.
Carlie: Is it like the whole curtain down?
Sarah: It is.
Carlie: You and the husband are on one side.
Sarah: It totally is. I was there. And so I guess there’s a couple different ways that you could go in having a C-section. I’ve read that there’s some where you have like your arms stretched out, like you’re on a cross and sometimes they’ll have your arms strapped down.
Carlie: Oh gosh, that sounds…
Sarah: But I had my arms stretched out because my one arm had my port for all of my medications and like the drips and stuff. So that was hooked up to this massive machine that was to my right and then to my left they had my little oxygen, I think it’s the oxygen machine that they clip on your finger. And then I had something else, I can’t remember because it was like I roll in, they transfer me to the bed in the operating room and then it was just like a flurry of people working and everybody was introducing themselves with their name.
And I was like, “I’m never going to remember any of this. I hope there is not a test at the end because I will fail miserably.” But it was really reassuring because everybody was like on a human level. And they would also explain what they were doing and why they were doing what they were doing. And that was very reassuring. Even though I knew what I was getting into as far as a C-section is concerned, it still was like, “Okay, this is good.”
And then I had my husband, he was over my left shoulder, and they actually almost started the C-section without him being in there because he went off to get scrubs on and I guess he put them on wrong or somebody didn’t do something right and so he had to go back and redo it again and they were like, “Okay, come on, we gotta go. We can’t wait. Baby is waiting.”
Carlie: Babe is waiting. Yes, exactly.
Sarah: Because they had explained, once I got on the operating table, it was, “Laura would be born within a matter of minutes as soon as they verified that my medication was properly set up, that the right things were numb, that everything was in place and everything was ready to go.” It was like, “Wham bam. Thank you, ma’am. We’re done.” So it was pretty quick.
Carlie: My brother-in-law in Australia handed his phone to one of the guys on the other side of the curtain and got some photos taken of the baby coming out. He’s in the medical field himself, so he was quite fascinated and really wanted those pictures. Did you get that option in France or is that not something they offered to take some happy snaps?
Sarah: They didn’t. And thinking back, I really wish I would’ve gotten like at least one or two photos of when Laura came out and after she was all washed down and kind of patted off. Because you know, when they come out they’re not necessarily as clean as they look like in the movies. It’s actually quite the opposite.
They brought her out, they wrapped her up, they kind of washed her down and they set her on my chest because I had halfway down my chest this giant, massive, inflatable heated pillow to help keep me warm because the operating room was really cold. And so that was really nice. I really wish I could have figured out how to take one home with me because that would be wonderful.
But I kind of wish I would’ve had that photo of like the three of us, me on the table. Because I’ve seen some friends back home have photos like that. But no, we didn’t get the option. And honestly, I don’t think I would’ve…
Carlie: Not the priority. No. Not at all.
Sarah: Not at all. Knowing my husband, sometimes he can be a little squeamish with blood. I was like, “Let’s make sure that curtain’s very high up and there’s nothing that we can see.” Because I know sometimes they’ll also have like mirrors hanging above so they can see what’s going on.
Carlie: Yeah. That’s not a scene that you want to voluntarily look up to. No, thank you. So all in all, how many days did you spend in the hospital recovering after the C-section?
Sarah: After the C-section, I had Laura on a Friday morning and I went home on a Tuesday afternoon. So they tell you in your birthing class and even in your appointments with the midwife, if you have your child naturally through the birth canal and how things were, you know, made to be, you get three days in the hospital recovering. If you have a C-section, it’s four days. So since I had a C-section, it was Friday plus four days of recovery.
Carlie: This is assuming there are no complications.
Sarah: This is assuming there are no complications. It was made very clear that if ever I felt like I needed to stay an extra day, if it was possible I could stay an extra day or two. I had a friend who, when she had her baby, ended up staying an extra two days, but she also had some complications during the birthing process. So she needed to stay for further testing and surveillance. But I was honestly ready to go by Tuesday morning. I said, “I just want to go home. I miss my bed.”
Carlie: I grew up in a family of women with my mom always talking about various people giving birth or having babies or whatever, and saying, “Stay as long as you can in the hospital. They’re going to try to push you out as quickly as possible, but if you have the choice to stay more nights, make sure you do.” It sounds like France is kind of that happy medium of just as long as you need and not longer than you be.
Sarah: Exactly. It is. And what’s really nice and what’s also really annoying at the same time is, you know, you have this newborn and Laura for whatever reason, like when babies are born, their circadian rhythm is out of whack. So their nights are days and days are nights, and they’re in this world and they have no idea what’s going on.
And Laura was cluster feeding all the time. So normally they say babies feed every so many minutes, while she was constantly feeding for periods of hours at a time. And of course it was at night between midnight and 6:00 AM, the only time where nobody was walking into my room asking to take a test to see how I was doing, to see if I needed anything. Because the time 6:00 AM right on the dot rolled around, it was the first round of nurses coming in, checking to see how things were going, how the night went.
Carlie: So just at the moment where you could finally get some rest.
Sarah: Where I could get some sleep. But at least by 8:00 AM I knew the coffee cart was coming around, so all was well in the world.
Carlie: I have two questions. One is a little bit superficial and the other is more practical. Let’s go with superficial. Did one of those photographers come around offering to take happy snaps of you and your partner and your newborn? And, you know, sell you some photos?
Sarah: No, thankfully, but I know at the hospital at Saint-Cloud they, that happened to a friend.
Carlie: So that does exist in France.
Sarah: That does exist in France. It’s a service. But no, I did not have that. And I probably would’ve told whoever it was to just stay on the other side of the door because I don’t need it.
Carlie: And then while you are in hospital, do you get practical help from the nursing staff in terms of breastfeeding, if that’s what you’re choosing to do, how to swaddle your baby, changing nappies, like are they there to kind of help you through those first few days?
Sarah: Yes. So you have different types of nurses that come in. There’s one, I’m probably going to say this wrong because I have trouble saying the word anyway, is a puéricultrice, and from what I can understand, it’s like a child support nurse. This is the best way I can describe it.
So this was someone who came in and showed us how to give Laura a bath, showed us how to take care of her as far as if there were any issues with her nappies. She showed us how to swaddle. We had one who was the daytime nurse. She was fantastic. I loved her to pieces. The nighttime team was a little, I don’t know if it’s because they were working nights and they’re more day people, they were a little more grumpy.
Carlie: Grumpy was a really good word.
Sarah: Because we had called at one point in the evening and Laura was just making some weird noises and I really wasn’t sure what was going on and the nurse was like, “Well, did you feed her?” And I was like, “Yes.” And she’s like, “Well, did you change her?” And I was like, “Yes. I’m not sure what to do. I did all the obvious things.” And so bedside manner was a little lacking.
But I didn’t really have anybody come as far as like for lactation because I decided to breastfeed. I don’t know if it was because like immediately when I was in the recovery room after the C-section they brought Laura in when she was all taken care of, she had to do skin to skin with me. She had already done skin to skin with my husband Thomas while I was getting sewed up and everything was put back in order. And she latched immediately right away. And so somebody checked there.
Carlie: So they decided you were good.
Sarah: Yeah, and I think if I probably would’ve asked more questions, I think I could have probably had a lot more resources or more information, or someone probably would’ve been like, “Okay, we’ll send someone down. We’ll have them go over things with you.” The nurses, every time somebody came in, were always asking, “How is the feeding going?”
So they were asking those questions and I think because I was answering that I was fine, I didn’t have any issues, like there was nothing really to signal that there was something wrong. I don’t think that subject was pushed any further. But I think if I would’ve asked questions, they definitely would’ve said, “Okay, we’ll either send somebody down or we’ll show you something.”
One of the ladies did say that if I ever wanted to, they offered free workshops for new parents. There was a lactation workshop for breastfeeding. There was another one about just kind of what to expect when you go home, a little more in depth about that than what you got from your parental classes before you had the baby.
Carlie: And once you get home with the baby, you’re thrown into this new life reality of looking after a little one every day. Do you have anyone checking up on you? I think my sisters in Australia both had some home visits.
Sarah: So the midwife that I did the classes with was actually the one that saw me. So you have an exam on the eighth day that you’re home, just to make sure that everything’s going well. You are supposed to be getting your baby weighed during the first four weeks home once a week. You can either do that with a midwife, you can schedule appointments with her, or you can do something with the PMI. It’s basically the best way to describe it is like a free resource center that has doctors, nurses, they offer classes. You can go have your child checked out. And one thing that they do is they do weights for newborns.
I actually ended up taking Laura to the PMI twice for her weights. They want to make sure, especially for breastfeeding babies, since it can take a little longer for them to put weight on, that they’re at least going in the right direction. But after that it was everything I saw in the doctor’s office.
Carlie: Sarah, you are fluent in French. How much pregnancy vocabulary did you have to learn or brush up on through the nine months and since then? And my second question is, how much more difficult do you think this would be for a foreigner to navigate if they don’t have the same level of French fluency?
Sarah: I feel like a lot of general basic medical terms are pretty much translated the same English to French or there’s some sort of derivative of the word. I was only looking up technical terms, especially when it came to blood tests. Like what is this asking? What am I doing? What are they looking for? For the most part, I was pretty confident in the majority of the things, or I would just straight up be like, “Hey, what is this? And can you explain why I’m doing it?”
For someone who is maybe not as fluid in the language, it depends. You can easily find a healthcare professional who is maybe not as fluent in the English language, but is comfortable having a conversation with you as their patient in the English language. I didn’t encounter any staff as far as what I was concerned.
When people find out that I’m American, but I also speak French and how I speak French, they’re always really surprised that I am not French born, if you will.
Carlie: That’s a best compliment.
Sarah: Yeah, I’m very proud of it, you know, and I can only thank my friends, Barry and Lolo. It’s all because of them that I can speak the way I can speak, from my year abroad here. They really hammered home on how to speak French. Not just the technical words and phrases and conjugations and all of that stuff, but just how to pronounce the words.
But I know from talking with friends that have had children here that aren’t necessarily at the same level as me, that they’ve specifically sought out certain types of medical providers or maternity wards that had the option of having English available. And they felt comfortable in a sense where that level of English available for them was enough for what they needed.
Carlie: I can only imagine, especially when someone is explaining to you that you need an emergency C-section, for example, and in that moment wanting to make sure you know what it is that’s being said to you or have someone there that can bridge that gap for you if your language level isn’t up to scratch.
Sarah: I know at the hospital when I was in the waiting room and there were all of these women coming in, because there were different doctors and different services for different reasons for the maternity. I did hear a lot of, “Oh, if you need an interpreter you can bring somebody with you.”
The hospital that I was at didn’t offer that as a service, but they were definitely more amenable. If you have someone, they’re more than welcome to come with you. So I would say if there’s someone that has a trusted person that they can bring to translate for them, if they’re not comfortable at all, then that’s something to look into and definitely ask.
Carlie: Was there anything especially unique that you noticed about the French healthcare system through your pregnancy? I know you haven’t actually had a baby in the States, for example, but having friends and family in the medical field, is there anything that stood out to you as a little bit different to what you’d expect back home?
Sarah: I think for me it was the frequency of the appointments, and I hadn’t really expected a sort of level of investment from the medical professionals that I was seeing. My midwife and doctors and whatnot, they seemed really invested in this for me, and I hadn’t had that experience before. So that was for me really comforting knowing that, okay, I can lean on this person who’s kind of guiding me through this whole process, and they’re going to be there and I know that they’re available if I have any questions and I can reach out to them for whatever reason. And they’re going to quell my fear or my concern.
And that also goes for the general public too, because I got the same reception on public transportation. People would go out of their way, especially when I was pregnant and showing, to make sure I sat down. And if I was in a line anywhere, people were like, “Oh, you can’t wait in line. You have to go immediately to the cash register because you’re pregnant.” And that was really nice.
Also, I think it’s my Americanness, but I was not used to it. Because I’m not used to being like, “Oh, hey, I have this thing. Please let me do this.” It took getting used to.
There’s a priority card you can apply for through the CPAM. It’s good for three years while you’re pregnant, and then three years up until your child is three years old. It basically is this card that you can just show on public transportation so you can get a seat if it’s full, if somebody doesn’t give up their seat and you need to sit down. If you’re doing any administrative appointments at a prefecture or anywhere, you can show that card and you basically jump the line.
Carlie: It sounds a bit like the UK’s baby on board badge, but with more benefits than just public transport.
Sarah: Yeah, it is. I haven’t had to use it. Because anytime I went anywhere, even now, like my parents were here in December and I took them to Sainte-Chapelle and we got to the front of the line and the guard was like, “Oh, we’re just taking you straight through security. Like you’re not waiting, you should have come up and said something.” And I was like, “Well, you know, I didn’t realize I could do that now, but now that I know I’ll do that next time.”
Carlie: And I did see on social media you posted once about the happy surprise of finding out that your home grocery delivery fee would be waived since you’re pregnant.
Sarah: Yeah, I know. I was like, I wish I would’ve looked at this sooner because where we live, going grocery shopping is literally and figuratively a hike. And so at one point we had decided that since we don’t have a car, walking to get our groceries, I would not be able to make the trek anymore. And to ask my husband to do that once a week, I love him dearly and he would do anything, but I was like, that’s a lot to ask.
So I had looked into doing grocery delivery and the first time I tested it out through Carrefour, the delivery driver that dropped—because he walked the deliveries up three flights of stairs—dropped my groceries off, and was like, “Oh, are you pregnant? You got your delivery for free?” And I was like, “What?” And he was like, “Oh, if you’re pregnant, you get free delivery.” And I was like, “Really?” He was like, “Oh yeah, just call and they’ll get it set up for you.” And I was like, “Oh, this is fantastic.”
Now, you do have to order a minimum of 60 euros of groceries, but anything after that’s not too difficult. For us, I can do 60 euros worth of groceries easily for a week of shopping. And ever since then, and it’s good for a year, so I think maybe I did it right and signed up towards the very end of the pregnancy. And so now I get it through for the next six or eight months, maybe still left, which is fantastic. I’ll take that. And I know there are a couple other places, like my one friend uses MonopriX for the same reason. I’m sure if you look, there are other places that offer perks as far as for being pregnant or for new moms.
Carlie: That’s great. Now Laura has been rightfully the soundtrack to this podcast episode. She’s back with us for the final question. Having gone through a pregnancy in France, being a new mom in France, knowing what you know now, is there anything that you would do differently?
Sarah: I don’t think so. I think maybe over preparing. As I said, I did a lot of research beforehand and I bought…
Carlie: You think you over prepared maybe?
Sarah: I’m not sure. I think for me, I was most concerned about the whole postpartum period, especially for myself, because I’ve read so much about postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety and postpartum rage and all of this other stuff, and I was like, I’ve never gone through this before. I have no idea how I’m going to react. Like I don’t know what my body’s going to do. And I wasn’t expecting to have a cesarean and I had bought everything for not having a cesarean. Because they say, you know, here’s a whole list of things to buy.
Carlie: Oh, like the ice blocks and all of that.
Sarah: So I bought all of that and I was like, well now what do I do with it? Because I can’t really use it. I did get the ice packs and I actually did use those before my C-section scar. Because they have these ones that are like these long rectangles and that just were the perfect size. So there you go.
So I think I would probably wait to see how things would go for the second one. But other than that, I honestly probably wouldn’t change a thing. I was pretty calm, cool and collected throughout the whole thing, to a point where I was like, is my reaction normal? But I think it’s just because I had family in the medical field and done a lot of reading and a lot of research, but that’s just my nature.
Carlie: Sounds like Laura likes a microphone.
Sarah: Yeah, she does.
Carlie: Sarah, one of your online personas is actually helping fellow expats and foreigners navigate various aspects of French administration and bureaucracy. So if people are interested in learning more about the information you can provide and about your experiences in France and the practical tips and advice that you share so regularly on social media, where can they find you?
Sarah: So you can find me on Instagram. I’m actually trying to be a little bit more active on there, but it’s a little few and far between at the moment.
Carlie: I understand.
Sarah: Yeah. I’m trying to get back into the routine. So on my Instagram, which is a_Buckeye_in_Paris. And then everything actually originally started as a blog, which is the same thing at buckeyeinparis.com. And since I started this whole moving over here, I decided to blog about everything because I myself was having issue finding all of the information. So I was like, I’ll just document my story, put all of the relevant information, links and stuff into a blog post. And then if somebody finds it and finds it useful, then you know, they’ll go from there and hopefully it’ll help at least one person.
But I’ve written about literally every step and I’m in the process of writing about being pregnant in France and creating kind of like a whole series around that, because there is so much information, especially when it comes to someone who’s not as fluent in the language and may not understand some aspects of it. It can be kind of confusing, especially when it’s like if you’re working and then you’re on your maternity leave, it’s like, how much are you getting paid? Who’s paying you?
Carlie: That’s something we did not even cover. Is maternity leave, does it exist? How much do you get?
Sarah: So much. I mean, yes, it does exist. For your first child, you get 16 weeks as a mom. Dads get four days that are required. They have to take them as soon as the baby’s born, and then they have 21 days after that to take up to six months.
Carlie: Oh, I’m glad it’s more than four.
Sarah: Yeah. So they have a total of 25 days that they can use at any time, up to the age of six months of the baby. And then based on how long you work and your salary, obviously it’s a percentage of how much you bring home. But if you have twins, you get 34 weeks, I think. If you have up to three kids, I think it’s like 28 weeks or something. It’s a lot.
And then on top of that, if you want to extend your maternity leave, you can do something called a congé parental, and that can be up to three years total because it’s for a year at a time, but possibly not necessarily paid for three years. I’d have to look into it. I briefly started looking into it because I thought about taking it just so I could take care of Laura because we hadn’t gotten into a crèche yet. That was another thing that’s a whole story by itself.
Carlie: You’ve got so many sections to work on for this blog piece.
Sarah: It’s a lot. It’s going to be extensive. But I know it’s a percentage, but I don’t think it’s as much as you would get for your first 16 weeks for maternity leave.
Carlie: Well, A Buckeye in Paris on social media and abuckeyeinparis.com would be your blog, your website. Make sure you’re following Sarah, especially for all those written resources to come on having a baby in France. Thank you so much for your time on the Expat Focus podcast today to talk through your pregnancy journey in our country.
Sarah: Thank you for having me.
Carlie: Absolutely. That’s it for today. If you’d like to hear more on this subject, scroll back through our archives and you’ll find my chat with a virtual midwife about having a baby abroad. Bec gives 6 things to know about having a baby in the Netherlands. And in my episode with Mia, you’ll learn about what it’s like to give birth in the USA.
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